Trying Montessori at Home

I don’t remember when I first came across the term Montessori. Probably sometime in Sam’s first year of life I read about Montessori beds (mattresses on the floor) and hanging a mirror low in a baby’s room.

I can’t say it really spoke to me then. It was just something that popped up on Pinterest. About 2 years later when the boys were probably 2 and 3 I read more about it and decided it made sense.

Concepts like independence and open ended play plus an emphasis on nature… I could get on board with this.

I even read the book Simplicity Parentig and I made a New Years Resolution of “simplifying.”

Only I didn’t. Sure I cleaned the playroom out but it seemed full again after a birthday or holiday. A year later and with a new baby coming I have found myself again drawn to reading on Montessori and minimalism.

I’m not saying I want to completely overhaul the way we parent or redesign our house around some parenting concept I came across on Pinterest. But our kids have both been fairly challenging this summer and I wonder if a step in a new direction could help their attitudes.

So what is Montessori?

There are entire school systems dedicated to the teaching of Maria Montessori’s child-centric practices. I understand there is a focus on learning through the senses and through nature, on practicality, and on
independence. She believed children had an innate desire to be independent and that allowing them to be made them happier.

There are more areas I haven’t even learned or read about so I’m sure there is much more to it than what I’m explaining. But below are some loosely based Montessori ideas/ high points I’d like to work on at home.

More open ended play, less battery operated toys.

When I stop and think about this, I know it’s true. What’s better for the growing mind? A battery operated toy that tells you what it is, what it says, what to do with it, and pretty much takes away the option for the kid to use their imagination at all?

Or something like blocks? Play Dough? A science experiment? Or even a paper towel roll? We all know young kids play more with the box than the toy right? But why, what are they trying to tell us?

I think kids like exercising that imagination and a world of iPads and smart toys has taken so much of that away from them. Many kids don’t know how to play pretend. I keep coming across a great quote that “we should have busy children, not busy toys.”

It may take some adjusting but I want for my kids to be able to walk into their playroom and it exist as a space for anything to happen. Just watching them playing “the floor is hot lava” and “astronaut adventure” recently has made me so happy. And it has only happened because I cleared out a TON of plastic toys and encouraged them to use their imaginations. Both those times they played independently for so much longer than if I had stuck them in front of a Catboy action figure that said 5 catch phrases.

Child-centric spaces

In Montessori classrooms, everything is on the child’s level. Toys are not
heaped into a 3 foot deep toy box to rifle through (guilty!). Instead they are set out in small baskets on low shelving so that children can easily see them, choose what they want, and clean up.

Beds are on the floor, no need to be picked up and placed into a crib (okay sorry but I do love cribs). Access to simple snacks and drinks isn’t limited and kids are often given free reign on pouring water.

I know I can easily adjust many practices like letting them squeeze on their own toothpaste and wash their own hair. I am also in the process of removing our toy box and streamlining the toys to all be easily organized and visible. And I have cleared out a low cabinet in the kitchen for
their dishes and cleaner. So far they are obsessed with cleaning up the table, who knew!?

Independence.

A lot of the Montessori blogs I have read have made me realize that all the
helping and hovering I do for my kids is done for MY benefit, not theirs. I put their drinks in sippy cups so I don’t have a mess. I put on socks and shoes and coats on them when I am in a hurry. I pick out their clothes according to what I like.

Montessori teachings have kids using breakable glassware with no sippy cup and cutting up their food with a knife or full on baking muffins all before their second birthday. They also encourage always having the child clean up their own messes.

In the real world, you spill a drink if you knock it over. In the real world, the plate breaks if you throw it from the table. Allowing kids to sort of test these ideas and become self sufficient earlier on is something I wish I had done. What’s the absolute worst case scenario? A broken plate? Water on the floor? If you go into it knowing that, it’s not a big deal.

I am not going to introduce glass right away. But, I’ve started having them set and clear the table and gave their own dish towels/mild cleaner in said low cabinet to wipe down their area after or deal with any spills.

Tom is over 2.5 but still used sippy cups 100% of the time until now. The last 4-5 meals at the table we have given an open cups with zero issues. And he is super proud and always says “look Sam, look!” 🙂

I am going to start letting the kids pick their own clothes ALMOST every time (okay it has to be cute stuff sometimes right?!) and always dress themselves. Maybe these tasks will bring on some new-found self satisfaction and less tantrums? I can only hope!

Routine.

I am a person who does enjoy routine, Montessori practice or not. But it makes sense how routine fits in well with these teachings. I want to institute a setting the table and helping in the kitchen routine in the evenings as well as a brief clean up time and laying out the next day’s clothes before bed.

Cleaning up after themselves shouldn’t feel like a punishment, and hopefully after some routine it will be a part of their day that they can even get some gratification out of. I know I will 🙂

Overall I am barely touching the surface and can’t say we are “going Montessori” or anything like that.

But this common sense practical parenting/teaching method speaks to me.

We are soon to have 3 little ones and independence will not only be welcomed, it will be needed. It’s not fair to tell my 4 year old we
have a baby now so I can’t help you. Hopefully these next two months of working at this (before baby) will show him he doesn’t need much
help and he’ll find happiness in independence.

I definitely regret some of the “helping” I have been doing but it’s an easy trap to fall into. Sam was going on 4 before I realized we needed to start having him dress himself every day and work on drinks with no lid.

Now Tom is only a few months from 3 and I realize I’ve beem making the same mistakes again.

I am also concerned my kids have been soooo into watching TV lately. We did cut out weekday morning TV over a year ago and we have not gone back one single time. I know it helped our mornings SO much. We just replaced TV with music!

But now upon arriving home after 5:00, TV is what they ask for first. Since we need to make dinner, I often let them. Although I do urge
them to play instead…it doesn’t always happen.

But with testing out some Montessori practices like setting the table, getting their own drinks, and helping prepare and cook food, that downtime to sit around and watch TV will shrink a little bit!

As always, blogging about an idea tends to keep me accountable. I am looking forward to updating you all on if these practices flop or go over well in the next few weeks!